A step into the bush and the good life

Kaingu Lodge amazing. Took a long walk this am with long stretches of nothing, a few herd of impala, puku and then – four bull elephants. We trailed them for a little while, keeping well back. On way back in Landrover, saw two more elephants – and one gave a mock charge.
The other guests are friendly, but very Guildford – afraid of expressing too much for fear of showing a personality that might offend, all the while showing disdain for emotions. I feel sorry for them. They are on such a great expedition traveling for 3 months through east and southern Africa. The are accompanied by someone I thought was an old friend, turns out he is their guide – a Norfolk lad who now lives in Lusaka. He shares a chalet with their son and acts as his companion – plays scrabble etc. with him. Lovely man but I felt sorry for him – however, they must be paying him well. But after taking the child out of boarding school you would think they would want to be companions to their son.
Right now I’m out on the deck, watching the river and hoping to see a crocodile. I swear I saw a snout yesterday, but it sank quickly into the water before I could get a good look.
Esnath, one of the maids, came along with drinking water. She stopped for a chat telling me she is a widow caring for a child of six and four orphans. They’re all at home in Mongu as there are no schools or clinics in Kaingu. I tell her she is a brave lady and she tells me the date of her husband’s death – 19 April 1999. Then she tells me that Anna – a guest last month – gave her clothes and money for the children’s school. “She was very nice,” Esnath said.
Suddenly I feel like a commodity. I had thought we were having a conversation – the spontaneous kind, but I now feel I am being pumped like a well and we both lose some dignity.